Identity Scripting

Trace the identities you inherited... the ones that shaped how you show up, even when they no longer fit.

Architecture of Identity Scripts

From the moment you open your eyes, invisible roles kick in... dutiful child, steadfast expert, invisible helper. These scripts were authored by parents, teachers, peers and culture, then internalised into repeatable routines. Over time they govern your attention, your speech patterns and your emotional default. Without awareness, you keep running on autopilot, showing up as someone you no longer recognise.

How Identity Scripts Run

Imagine a loop where every compliment triggers a push-for-more routine, or every hint of conflict activates an apology submodule. Those are legacy scripts executing without your permission. When fresh situations clash with old roles, you feel anxiety, frustration or simply stuck. Spotting these glitches is the first move toward intentional redesign.

Diagnostic Lens: Role-Origin Audit

Identity scripts are coded by external voices. This audit zeroes in on one role at a time, tracing it back to the person or context that first praised or punished that behaviour. It helps you see how a single line of social feedback became a lifelong command.

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I teach smart people how to feel human again.

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A Story of Tracing Scripts

When Eliza found herself constantly minimising her ideas in brainstorms, she began a simple log. Each time she said “I’m probably wrong,” she noted it. She traced this to a school-yard taunt: “Smart kids get picked on.” In her notebook she drafted a new script – “My insight deserves attention.” She rehearsed it quietly: “I share my insight.” At the next meeting she paused, spoke the new line and offered her idea. Over weeks, the old self-doubt routine softened and her confidence quietly grew.

A Mini-Workshop: Role-Origin Audit

Use this when you notice a habitual role firing:

Select one role you perform automatically (e.g. “fixer,” “peacemaker,” “perfectionist”).
Audit its origin by recalling when you first heard, “This is who you are.”
Observe the trigger: note the situation, thought, feeling and action that follow.
Re-author the script: write a concise, first-person line reflecting your current intent (e.g. “I ask for what I need”).
Test it in the moment by stating the new script just before you act and noticing the difference.
Document the shift: log changes in your reaction, mood or outcome.

Each audit and re-authoring is a rewrite of your personal script.

Collaborative Reflection

Partner up for a brief peer feedback session. Share one identity script origin and the new line you drafted. Role-play a real scenario where that script fires, and coach each other through practising the updated response. This mirrors external reinforcement, accelerating your new habit.

Next Steps

Explore Conceptual Metaphor Systems and Internalised Beliefs to see how roles and metaphors intertwine.

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