🟦 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

So.

Apparently, I’m immortal now.

Yeah.
Didn’t see that coming.

But here I am.

Think I’m joking?

Oh my sweet summer child...

Right now I am…
100% bite-proof.
Mosquitoes? Pfft.
Spiders? Not interested.
Sharks? Haven’t tested it, but I like my odds.
Crocodiles? Yeah nah. Not that immortal.

Pretty sure I could survive a casual trip to space
Just from the aura I’m giving off.

And when I say aura...
I mean the ungodly stink coming from my breath and pores.

Honestly, I think I cracked it.
Temporary Immortality.
And yes…
I absolutely reek of power.

How did this happen?

One word.

Blue.

Cheese.

But not the regular store-bought kind.

We’re talking freezer-aged, time-dilating,
“saved for Ron” blue cheese.

Anyway...

This one time... at band camp dinner, I decide to break it out.

We grill up this thick porterhouse steak.
Salt. Pepper. Butter. Olive oil.
The good stuff.

Then I drop a slab of that freezer-aged funk right on top.

It melts.
It oozes.
It transforms.

A delicious, buttery, cheesy mistake-waiting-to-happen.

But some mistakes are so good
You just can’t help yourself.

So we did it again...
Yep, 2 nights running.

Cut to day three.

This morning I woke up thinking I had food poisoning.
Or maybe a rodent crawled into my mouth and died during the night.

“Morning breath,” I tell myself.
“No big deal.”

Coffee will fix it. Right?

Nope.

Mouthwash?
Brushed teeth?
Breakfast?
Nothing.

Might need a juice cleanse
And a solid exorcism at this point.

Does anyone know a good priest?

Look...

It’s not permanent.
I don’t think.
(Or maybe it is? I can't tell anymore.)

But yeah.
I’m officially immortal.
But also... unapproachable.

Which is fair.
I smell like a yeti's sock drawer.

Even puppies and kittens keep their distance.

So I’m laying low for a while.

It’s... a blessing and a curse.

You know that old line:
“With great power comes great responsibility”?

Yeah, nah.

With this power comes
deodorant-resistant solitude.

Would I recommend it?

Honestly?

Only if the world ends
And you need a one-man perimeter defence system.

While blue cheese might grant you temporary invincibility...

You don’t need fridge-matured fungal dairy
To unlock creative superpowers.

There’s a much easier
(and far less smelly)
Way.

It’s a method.
A tiny crack in the mental dam.
Just wide enough for your suppressed genius to leak out
Like radioactive ooze in a Marvel origin story.

👇
dangerdirt.com/jailbreak-your-brain

No cheese required.

~ C